happy 4th

On our fourth month, let me detail the things that tick me off which you may or may not have noticed.

(1) You are so protective. So overly protective that it annoys me a little when you don’t want to take me home becuase you don’t like me walking home at, what, 9:30 p.m.
(2) When you said you were no longer talking to her and then I see her appear on your phone. And she can’t look at me, have you noriced? She cannot look at me. I see her on my feed, on someone else’s photo and my blood just gets boiling.
(3) We hardly spend time apart. And sure that’s cute and I love spending time with you but sometimes, I just want some breathing space, hopefully not in your house because, honey, that ain’t my house yet. And since my family says they hardly see me without you and that kin dof ticks them off, I assume that goes doubly for your family because we eat dinner there almost every night.
(4) It’s okay that you try to make me sporty, but you don’t have to hold back on me. Please.
(5) We say ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ so much I worry if it’s losing it’s magic. You get annoyed when I don’t say it back fast enough/ Sometimes, we hardly have meaningful conversation because we talk about how much we miss each other most of the time.
(6) I’m scared that we’re fitting each other so much into each of our futures that it’s limiting us.
(7) Sometimes, I worry that your friends look down on me. Haven’t you noticed?
(8) You didn’t notice when you annoyed me so much I had my hair cut. You thought it was nothing.
(9) You hardly ever share what you’re feeling with me and you expect me to be ‘your person’.
(10) I’m scared. Are we settling for each other? That I would not exhibit the ‘sign’ you asked from the heavens for ‘the one’. That I would get tired of you. That we would break each other by holding on too tighly. That you never would get to know me.

Do you see me? Do you really?



Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.
Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever (via quotes-shape-us)


Photograph

Ed Sheeran

Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But it’s the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
Hearts are never broken
And time’s forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer ‘til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone, wait for me to come home

Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul
And it’s the only thing that I know, know
I swear it will get easier,
Remember that with every piece of you
And it’s the only thing we take with us when we die

We keep this love in this photograph
We made these memories for ourselves
Where our eyes are never closing
hearts are never broken
And time’s forever frozen still

So you can keep me
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
Holding me closer ‘til our eyes meet
You won’t ever be alone

And if you hurt me
That’s okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home
Wait for me to come home

You can fit me
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen
Next to your heartbeat where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

And if you hurt me
Well, that’s okay baby, only words bleed
Inside these pages you just hold me
And I won’t ever let you go

When I’m away, I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamppost back on Sixth street
Hearing you whisper through the phone,
"Wait for me to come home."



kidnapped

"Thank you," you said.

"For what?"

"For staying over."

I try to keep my face blank, I really do.

You slightly laughs as you say, “as if you had a choice.”

And sometimes I do feel a little bit kidnapped. When you automatically assume we would just eat dinner at with your family— which is every night. Or you refusing to take me home so I would stay over.

Sometimes I just want to keep to myself but I’m afraid you would feel a bit slighted by my refusal again.



jealousy can be tiring

It’s very tiring for me to feel jealous of her. Or jealous at all, in fact.

The act of getting suspicious every time you tilt your phone just a little so I wouldn’t know who texted; or looking away when you tilt your phone towards me to appear not interested is just getting old.

Maybe it’s the fact that I you promised me that you would no longer talk to her and then see her messaging you; or you letting it slip that you had a conversation about the tournament you both were entering. Or that you keep wanting me to be more sporty, the way she is that ticks me off.

It’s getting tiring and I’m beginning to wonder, If I get tired of being jealous, is it a win for you or for me?



7-17

hello there

I hope you and yours are safe today and everyday



Even the knowledge of my own fallibility cannot keep me from making mistakes. Only when I fall do I get up again.
 - Vincent van Gogh


It is a frightening thought, that in one fraction of a moment you can fall in the kind of love that takes a lifetime to get over.
Beau Taplin || One fraction of a moment.  (via afadthatlastsforever)


From: http://www.google.com.ph/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CBwQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FWritingPrompts%2Fcomments%2F25gtsw%2Feu_in_the_final_minutes_of_his_life_calvin_has%2F&ei=LMK8U6rwA8ni8AWp9YKQBQ&usg=AFQjCNFUQ8G7ZGUlQM1W8Yq26s1SO81h2A&sig2=ymkXZWzRl0Hq88mUtBE3XA&bvm=bv.70138588,d.dGc


GET THE EFF OVER IT

When I’m with you, everyday I choose to be with you. Whatever happened in the past has stayed in the past and I personally burried the hatchet. I don’t understand why you keep on bringing things up (not that I never do).


Stop looking back. I had a life before you came along, do you find that hard to accept?

You saw the things I wanted people to see and this is your reaction. How much would you freak out if you saw the things I hide?